I know... and someone?

I said I wasn't going to post anymore, but I am. Fuck it. I guess the THOUGHT that someone might actually read this and feel sorry for me makes me feel better somehow. Am I an attention whore or something? I dunno the only reason I'm posting is because I've been drinking.

Anyway there's this girl at school I kind of like. She's younger than me but I don't think she's TOO young. 5 years... She seems to like talking to me, but I'm not sure if she just likes talking or if she likes talking to me specifically. So far she hasn't gone out of her way to be near me, but she always says something every time I see her, even if I say nothing at all, which is unlike just about anyone else I've ever met. She has a very pretty smile. She also seems to have a sort of well of sadness inside somewhere. I think she sort of reminds me of myself when I was 20. I'm incredibly uncomfortable talking to her, but not much more than I am talking to anyone else, except that I try really hard not to just clam up around her like I do with everyone else so she doesn't get disinterested. I tend to fail at this, but despite that, if I look back at her she'll start talking to me again, which is curious because I don't have to actually say anything. Something about the eye contact seems to drive her, and I don't mind making it with her at all, which is unusual for me since eye contact makes me uncomfortable. Not sure what it is but looking into her eyes doesn't bother me like it does with some... I think I'm just afraid that I'm looking creepily at the person or that they're judging me in some way. Her talking suggests that she doesn't judge me I think.

Enough rambling. More news as the story develops. Bed soon.