Debbie Downer

This skit always cracks me up, they just can't keep a straight face.

Perhaps relaxation

I think if I came into contact with the right person I would begin to relax, and it would be specifically because the person relaxes me, whether they're doing it intentionally or not. I should find this person.

Creativity returns

Awesomely, I've found myself being more creative recently. It has just been sort of popping out at random times.

I didn't mention it before but I'm not going to use this blog to spout worthless depressing shit anymore. I think I've had enough of that for one lifetime.

Is it true?

Have I inadvertently turned myself into an emo?

I know... and someone?

I said I wasn't going to post anymore, but I am. Fuck it. I guess the THOUGHT that someone might actually read this and feel sorry for me makes me feel better somehow. Am I an attention whore or something? I dunno the only reason I'm posting is because I've been drinking.

Anyway there's this girl at school I kind of like. She's younger than me but I don't think she's TOO young. 5 years... She seems to like talking to me, but I'm not sure if she just likes talking or if she likes talking to me specifically. So far she hasn't gone out of her way to be near me, but she always says something every time I see her, even if I say nothing at all, which is unlike just about anyone else I've ever met. She has a very pretty smile. She also seems to have a sort of well of sadness inside somewhere. I think she sort of reminds me of myself when I was 20. I'm incredibly uncomfortable talking to her, but not much more than I am talking to anyone else, except that I try really hard not to just clam up around her like I do with everyone else so she doesn't get disinterested. I tend to fail at this, but despite that, if I look back at her she'll start talking to me again, which is curious because I don't have to actually say anything. Something about the eye contact seems to drive her, and I don't mind making it with her at all, which is unusual for me since eye contact makes me uncomfortable. Not sure what it is but looking into her eyes doesn't bother me like it does with some... I think I'm just afraid that I'm looking creepily at the person or that they're judging me in some way. Her talking suggests that she doesn't judge me I think.

Enough rambling. More news as the story develops. Bed soon.

No one cares.

I was going to do a post about how I wish I could be one of those people that didn't care, but then I realized that no one cares about what I think or say. So, I'm done.

Ytyn?

I think it's interesting that in a system of rotating masses the rotational kinetic energy is equal to the sum of the individual masses' kinetic energies. It makes perfect sense if you think about it...

Amazing impressionist

Unfortunately it looks like this guy doesn't make videos anymore, but the ones he has posted are pretty incredible. Check em out.

Nerd

I'm such a nerd. I really need to find some fellow nerds to befriend. Or just someone in general. I spent all spring break pretty much alone in my apartment playing WoW because I had nothing else to do and nowhere to go.

Release...if briefly

Two days ago I cried for the first time since before my grandma died some five plus years ago. It was only a matter of something slightly tear-inducing happening to cause me to cry, and this time it came in the form of leaving my guild in WoW. I know, I'm a fucking pussy, whatever. I was sick of the guild in general but I had been there for a whole year or more and they were just going in a different direction than I wanted to go in, and that's why it was so sad for me. It's because I'm pathetic and my life outside of school pretty much involves only this game.
As I pulled each of my six characters out of the guild I cried. It wasn't as intense as I thought it would be after having it pent up for so long. I expected a full on, flood gates wide open, breakdown. I needed more release than I got, and I wanted to let more out but I found some part of me resisting, and it ended fairly quickly, one minute maximum.

The edge...

I feel like I might be on the verge of breakdown. My consciousness is resisting it but my head feels like it's about to cave in. It will almost certainly happen this weekend, if it doesn't it's going to be a rough week next week. I'm in desperate need of emotional release, and I'm not sure how to achieve it.

Exhausted

School is kicking my ass right now. I am totally swamped with homework and I'm feeling so fucking lonely...I just can't seem to make myself make any social connections with anyone yet... Gonna make dinner...

I feel really sad...

Validation

This is the biggest piece of awesome I have seen in quite some time. It's a short film called "Validation" starring TJ Thyne and Vicki Davis. Credits at the end or on the Youtube page. Watch it!

Dirty laundry

I had the pleasure of visiting the coin-op laundromat today. It really wasn't that bad, except I was trying to sit and play some Tetris on my phone and these kids kept shaking the shit out of the bench, making it impossible to focus. Also I was surprised to see that smoking is apparently allowed in there. Might be the last non-bar in St. Louis that still allows it besides the airport, and I'm not even sure they still do.

Moved in

So I've successfully moved in and am teaching myself to cook. I've started a new blog to catalog my attempts...you can find it here:
The Noob Chef